My 2020 word was FREEDOM.
I thought this would look like financial and time freedom, i.e. big booms in my business, no more debt, leaving corporate and focusing on being with my family more.
That was partially the case.
The freedom I experienced was not quite what I was working and hoping for, but it was exactly what I needed and benefited from.
Freedom looked like personal growth milestones, including deeper connection and healing in myself (letting go of shame, facing my past and seeing myself as I am vs. who I was); 1-year of being clean; letting go of relationships I was secretly suffering in; and being courageous enough to set hard boundaries (with people, work, social media) to protect my mind, heart, body and spirit.
In my professional life, Freedom looked like letting go of expectations of what I thought my career journey should look like; leaving my ego behind and getting really humble in every way possible (in the workplace, in my business, all of it); pivoting from what my business “was” to what it was becoming and letting go of the fear of failure in those seasons of change and transition (lots of tears and lessons and late nights/early mornings); and actually enjoying the experience of learning, growing, making mistakes and quickly course correcting along the way.
From January 1st through December 31st of 2020, I grew a lot. A lot happened… both great experiences and really crappy experiences.
In the last 365 days, I experienced joy and sorrow; I laughed and cried; I lost sleep and slept too much; I thought about quitting on my goals some days and obsessed about succeeding at all costs on other days; I worked through fear on a lot of days and felt fearless on a few others; and I don’t regret any of it.
Last year, I broke up with the bad habit of AVOIDANCE. I feel really free and empowered, especially because I’ve gotten really good at sitting with discomfort, recognizing when I don’t feel “like myself” and taking a timeout to slow down and ensure I’m supported. I got better at asking for space or help, expressing myself in times of doubt/fear/sorrow… all while experiencing emotions I used to numb and run from.
Freedom was exactly what I experienced.
It didn’t play in ways I thought or hoped it would, but freedom was always on the other side of the hard and, often, uncomfortable decisions I made.
I sought the Lord through it all. He knows there were days when I thought about how much easier it might be to navigate hard times with something to take the edge off. In those moments, I prayed and chose to dive into my Bible, journal or favorite worship songs. Some of my favorite songs included “Another In The Fire” and “Whole Heart” by Hillsong. I also fell in love with the entire Sunday Service performance (in France) that Kanye West created. It’s been on repeat for the last several weeks!
In 2021, I don’t have expectations, but I am believing for some breakthroughs in really specific areas of my life. I’m hopeful that God will guide me down the path HE needs me to navigate, even if I don’t always understand it. I pray He’ll comfort me as I work to be obedient, even when it’s uncomfortable and uncertain. I believe I’ll experience PEACE when I’m aligned with HIS will over my life. I pray you experience the same.
I’ll end this here and promise to be back soon. I’m doing a bunch of cool things inside my business, so I hope you’ll consider following my journey as a wife, mom, an entrepreneur AND leader in corporate America (I was promoted this year and am doing such fulfilling work, yay!!!!)
Happy 2021, friends!
God Bless You!